Photo Challenge: Day 1

So a blogger friend of mine has been doing this neat little project on her blog, and I'm stealing it. I have been so impressed by the pictures she's posting and the topics she's writing about that I have to do it. Plus, I can't talk about being fat and pregnant all the time.

If you want to see a list of the 30 topics, I recommend popping over to her blog. I, on the other hand, am going to jump right in.




"A photo of yourself with 15 facts."

1. This is a photo of me in Berlin in 2008. I am standing across the street from the Russian War Memorial, and that is Brandenburg Gate in the background.

2. Despite the fact that, since this photo was taken, I've become a mother and I'm pregnant with baby #2, if you ask me who I am, this photo shows you the answer. Not everyone is changed in the same way by having kids, and it is a constant source of guilt for me. I am not one of those women who is defined by motherhood.

3. I am desperately jealous of those women are defined by motherhood. Despite the fact that I'm not motherly, I desperately wish I was. However, each time I doubt my mothering skills, I'm reminded that having a military husband sometimes means I have to be mother and father, and that my sturdiness and surliness make me a strong mother. It makes up for the fact that I'm not a cuddly mom.

4. I don't like having my nose touched.

5. I'm a college student. And when people ask what I plan to do when I graduate, I laugh. I have no plans to work, but I love to learn.

6. I can't cook. I have an ex-husband who will tell you that's a lie, but his opinion is based on fried chicken alone. My current husband will cringe in fear if I tell him I'm cooking dinner.

7. Despite not having the cooking gene, I got some random, recessive baking gene. I'm constantly asked for my chocolate chip cookie recipe, and tell people to look on the back of a bag of Nestle chocolate chips. I can't tell you why they're so good.

8. My son has a nanny. She's only here once a week most of the time. I have taken more heat for having a nanny than I ever thought possible. Despite the fact that my friends or "friends" have said terrible things to me about hiring someone, she is the best decision I ever made. And you know what I do most often when she's here? I either sleep or I sit in bed and stare at the wall. I feel like I am a better mom to Sam when I emerge from 8 straight hours of solitude.

9. I miss traveling. I miss it so much that we stuck our son with us on a plane to Philadelphia for a long weekend. My son, however, does not like travel quiet yet. So I'm stuck at home for a few more years.

10. I know you're not supposed to wish your kids' lives away. But I am excited for the days when my kids are old enough to learn about the world. I intend on homeschooling them so I can drag them wherever we go. Want to learn about the WW I or classical composers or a volcano? Let's get on a plane!

11. Bacon is quite possibly the world's greatest food.

12. I married my husband after only meeting him a few times. I've been told that's crazy, but there's nothing crazy about marrying someone you genuinely like being around for practical reasons. It's been almost 4 years, and we have such a comfortable marriage. Being married to one another is really easy for us. He honestly is my best friend.

13. Despite being the anti-mom, I am really enjoying this stage of my son's life. He's a speed demon and constantly on the go, so I'm exhausted, but I spend a great deal of time laughing at the things he does despite the mess.

14. I really want Little Debbie cakes right now. And pudding.

15. I'm writing this at 7 in the morning, and have every intention of going back to sleep now.

First glimpse

Due to some scheduling issues, we finally got to hear the baby's heartbeat today during our first ultrasound. At 13 weeks, the due date is now "official" and we learned our new daughter or son is healthy. And is the only one in there.

My local hospital here does not accomodate VBAC's, and at my inital appointment, I was not given any option of how I would deliver when I spoke to the nurse practitioner. I knew this wasn't a problem, as I am not going to be delivering here. I know the place we're going is probably going to let me try, but I'm prepared for a battle. Today, however, I got to see one of the practice's doctors for my ultrasound and other routine stuff. Knowing the practice's policy on VBAC, I was shocked when she asked what my plans were for the birth. She explained about VBAC bans, and since she knows we're moving, she wasn't sure what policy I was going to run into. I told her that there is no ban where I'm going, but that I'd do what my doctor there was most comfortable with as long as they had a good reason for that decision. And she said, "But what are YOU comfortable with?" I said since Jerry will be gone and I will still have to take care of Winston, a VBAC was my ideal wish. And she gave me her blessing. I knew what I wanted before she asked, but having her tell me that there was nothing to be concerned about gave me the extra confidence I needed in my decision. Obviously, she reminded me about the problems with Sam's delivery and explained the situation may occur again, but that there was certainly no harm in trying. I'm ready now.

Conversations from today -

Doc: "You're measuring a little big. Are you sure about the date you gave us?"

Me: "Yes. We were trying, so I kept close track."

Husband: "Maybe it's twins!"

Doc: "Don't say that! Look at her! Just saying it made her break out in a sweat!"

(Note: I was measuring big. The baby, once we got up the ultrasound, was exactly on track.)

Doc: "There's the head, and there's the body."

Husband: "Looks like an oyster to me."

Doc: "Huh. What do you know? It kind of does!"

Husband: *looks at the monitor while we're waiting*

Husband: "Wonder if we can get the news on that thing."

*After sending the ultrasound picture to husband's coworkers*

Coworker 1: "Is the baby throwing up a peace sign in the middle pic? That is impressive."

Coworker 2: "Obviously, a very talented child."

Today's lesson: The first few weeks of pregnancy can be spent in fear. But it is amazing how just one look can wipe your worries away.

Cravings

The past four weeks have been full of exciting pregnancy cravings. There has been, of course, the requisite pickles and ice cream, grilled cheese sandwiches with mayo, toast with more butter than the human heart can handle, French fries, meatballs, and so many more. Two nights ago, I sent my husband out at 10:30 at night for egg drop and wonton soup. I ate the egg drop, and planned on eating the wonton the next day. So yesterday, I walked into the kitchen and made a beeline for the wonton soup in the fridge, only to find hubby finishing off the last of an entire quart of it. Needless to say, he soon found himself back at the Chinese takeout to replace the soup.


As you might be able to tell, I am of the belief that men have two jobs during pregnancy: foot rubbing and craving fulfillment. My husband is a pro at both, as he has generally acknowledged that he certainly does not envy MY jobs during pregnancy. This is the wonderful man who shows up with brownies and sugar free pudding cups, and knows to call me before he heads home each day to see if there is something I can't live without. Because if he doesn't call me, I'm likely to email him at work in a panic because I have to have salt and vinegar potato chips NOW!


But tonight I was faced with a dilemma. Facebook is quite often a source for craving ideas, as many of my friends are pregnant and we share what we're eating with the online world. This time, however, it was one of my guy friends who mentioned cheese yesterday evening. I thought, "Hm, I could really go for some colby jack, but it's 11 o'clock at night. It can wait until Monday." Except it couldn't. The craving grew from wanting colby jack to craving a full fruit and cheese platter with all of my favorite things.


My husband, talented as he may be at craving fulfillment, blinked at me when I said I wanted cheese. He does not have the cheese knowledge that was needed for this particular yen. I awoke from a nap this afternoon, half-conscious and crazy eyed, and knew I NEEDED cheese. I threw on jeans and a sweater and headed for the door. Jerry once again blinked. He did not understand this concept of me leaving the house to get what I was craving. He was used to doing it for me, and I almost think I messed with his comfort zone a little. But, good husband that he is, he moved his car out of the way and laughed as I set out on my pilgrimage.


Publix was heaven this late at night. I wandered the aisles with my basket and pondered the combinations. First was colby jack and swiss, the store brand because they're not bad and Sam likes them. Off to find crackers. Through the produce section for grapes, strawberries, and an orange (the orange had nothing to do with the cheese, but I wanted it anyway). Then off on a tangent for fruity sparkling water, seeing as I usually have wine with cheese and that's not really an option. And then I focused my attention on the happiest place in the store: the cheese fridge by the deli, where I grabbed some brie and chevre along with some fruit spread. $45 later, I made my way home and gorged myself on my acquisitions. I am full and happy, and probably just put on 5 pounds. It's the best feeling.


(Note: Before the pregnancy police read this and have a fit, everything was made with pasteurized milk. This is the US, people. We have laws here that keep us away from all the fun food. Getting the real stuff involves either a local dairy or a trip to France, and since I went to neither tonight, berating my choice of haute pregnancy cuisine is unnecessary.)


Today's lesson: Food is powerful motivation. Pregnancy hormones are even more powerful motivation.

If you give a kid a cookie...

Ok, I totally did not GIVE my kid this cookie. He walked over to a plate of them and STOLE it.

My husband does not grasp the concept of keeping things out of reach.

Of course, I went to go after the cookie, but I just couldn't bear to take it away from him.

As his mother, I worry about sugar and fat and putting crap into his adorable little tummy.

Then again...

...I think only a few crumbs actually made it into that tummy!

Today's lesson: If you give a kid a cookie, you're going to have to get out the carpet cleaner.

Another peaceful Christmas, with some extra thankfulness

My aunt was in a car accident a few weeks ago. One of those car flying through the air monstrocities that left her Jeep totalled and sent me running to my car with an overnight bag while screaming Winston's care instructions to my husband as I pulled out of the driveway. I spent the evening hunting the vending machines for the Sprite she was craving, ordering takeout with the IMCU staff, making all the necessary phone calls to my family, and joining the 3 AM pilgrimage the nurses made to the surgical ward, where they had the "good coffee." And I was grateful that I got to be close by.

But I'm mostly grateful for this, a few weeks later:

Then, of course, there was this little surprise...

Anyhow, Christmas was exhausting, but quiet and sweet. My son has inherited the Christmas Scrooge gene from me and his father. He wanted nothing to do with presents. In fact, he kept escaping into the kitchen to play with the Mountain Dew bottles on the tile floor. And in the end, we gave up, let him play, and enjoyed opening our gifts. It was a beautiful, fun, memorable first Christmas for our son.

Today's Lesson: You can lead a kid to toys, but you can't make him play. Or focus on what you think he's supposed to be doing, for that matter.

The Complete Idiot's Guide...

...to surviving Christmas as a Scrooge.

I know Christmas is supposed to be the great holiday that caps off the end of the year. I know we are supposed to spend the month of December being jolly and buying presents and drinking cocoa. But for me, Thanksgiving is the climax of the year, and everything else beyond is downhill. Come on. It's a holiday where you get to eat great food, but you don't really have to decorate or give presents. A whole day during which you get to watch parades and dog shows and football and basically gorge yourself mid-afternoon, and then live off the leftovers for the rest of the day. And, if you're us, the next 4 days.

Yum, turkey!

Christmas somehow comes closer and closer to ruining Thanksgiving each year. In fact, a good deal of my friends went out to shop the Thanksgiving Day sales after dinner. I had no desire, and instead lazed around and watched football with my family, then went home, ate leftovers, and passed out early. It was beautiful. Then, of course, the Black Friday shoppers are out by midnight. Don't get me wrong, I know this holiday shopping is a tradition for some people and that's wonderful (my mother included). But you'll never catch me out there.

He's not a fan of Black Friday, either.

I hate the mall before Christmas. I hate the stores before Christmas. I live in Florida, and hearing White Christmas on the radio makes me roll my eyes. I always feel like Christmas is an intruder, getting in the way of my usually chilled out shopping routine. I am inundated by the bell ringers and every checkout girl asking if I'd like to make a donation to such and such, and getting dirty looks when I say no. "But it's just a dollar!" Uh, no. If I donated a dollar to every charity at every checkout before Christmas, I'd go broke. Ok. Maybe not broke. But don't assume I'm heartless. I just like my charitable contributions to be accounted for en masse so I can deduct them on my taxes. I swear I donate to good causes. Don't look at me that way!

I am Scrooge. I hate the Christmas season. It's over-commercialized and makes people drive like idiots and act like jerks. It causes stress and debt and, to those of us who have large families to buy for, a bit of animosity until everything is bought, paid for, wrapped, and shipped out.

My family gets bigger every year.

So, with my significant lack of holly jolly, how do I manage to put a good face forward during the holiday season?

I have 97% of the shopping, decorating, and planning done before Thanksgiving.

I start in December, the day after Christmas. This is the time to hit the Hallmark store and the craft stores for deeply discounted wrapping paper, Christmas cards, and even some very cute gifts. I save the gifts bags we've received. I store it all in a box marked "Christmas" and I put it away with the tree and the decorations. And I forget about it until at least July.

When July comes along, I slowly start the Christmas shopping. I pick up a gift card here and there to spread out the cost. I pick up gifts as they're on sale and as I see them. I'm not rushed. I have time to be thoughtful with the gifts I buy because I'm not panicked or broke.

By Thanksgiving, the presents are wrapped so that I can enjoy the day. The tree is up not because I want to have it up early, but because at some point during November I've cleaned out the garage and decided that I may as well do it while everything's out.

This is the week before Thanksgiving. Done and done!

Today's lesson: Not everyone is particularly amused by this holiday. Some of us would happily run away to somewhere tropical and skip it all if we could. We tried it once, but the evil power of the holiday season delayed our flights and killed our plans. So be warned!

Never discuss religion and politics

Isn't that the old saying? I think Facebook has changed all that. However, since I refuse to start religious or political debates on my Facebook, I'm going to make my short statements here.

1. Religion - God is love. Grace covers all manner of sins. But being a jerk does not reflect kindly on your religion. That is all.

2. Politics - As I age, I find politics gets more personal. People treat elections like football games and create intense rivalries. I'm not going to say how I voted (I'm an Independent, so I'm freaking Switzerland). I am going to say that for all the sore winners and losers out there, please shut up. Respect the electoral system. Respect the fact that more people voted for one side than the other, and that their votes are just as important as yours. This goes for both parties. For those who are happy with the way the election went, remember that other people voted for different candidates because they have different beliefs. Not because they're stupid. Get a grip, everyone.

That said, I am proud of my super-political friends for being gracious to one another. I have not had to referee any "status cat fights" despite opposing political views. I have found it's the people who are only political around election day who are having 12-year old style temper tantrums.

And now for a cute picture of my son, Narcissus:

Today's lesson: I'm just thankful that we live in a country where our vote still means something. We're unhappy? We have an honest to goodness way to show it, whether we're at the polls or sitting on our couch dialing frantically to vote for our favorite American Idol. Or, if you're me, voting in the latest election from the comfort of your couch early and absentee.